The Way Out - Changing The Way You Got In
You have lost your children because of an order by a family or juvenile court judge or because theDept. of Children and Families has kidnapped them, or you have been thrown out of your house by a restraining order. How did it ever come to this, and what can you do to get your family and your life back?
There is a way back, a way that leads to life, that will allow you to endure this torture, and maybe to triumph over the monsters that are tormenting you. It is going to take some change on your part, if you are willing.
How do you get your life and family back? The answer requires you to do what most of us do not want to do: Ask, "What did I do to cause this problem?" Of course, it is not all your fault, but most of the time it is also not all the fault of the system, either.
How Did We Get Here?
We now live in an oppressive "police state", meaning that goverenment has become very big and has passed laws which get it involved with every aspect of our lives. At the same time we have thrown away many of the rules of life, love, religion and family which kept most of us safe from government tyranny.
This is a deadly combination. More and more of us are going to be reported to the government every day because of it. Why? Drug use, angry outbursts, minor disputes with family or neighbors - all of these are now seen and reported to the government by state agents at government (public) schools, the medical system, therapists, and even strangers.
Government keeps a much closer eye on us now. We have no privacy, no place of peace. Many of its victims have become dependant on government for their money, food, housing, schooling, medical care, and utilities, so it is not surprising they can watch more closely. At the same time, fewer of us have had good examples of true manhood or womanhood, good marriages, good child raising, diligence to work instead of being dependant on government, and much else.
How do YOU Look To the Governement System?
How does the government look at YOU? Yes, you. Have you ever thought about it? How does the DCF social worker, the family court judge, your kid's teacher, your doctor look at you?
Are you angry? If so, why? Did you have a father growing up? Were you ever taught to rein in your anger and replace it with kindness? Have you learned to forgive your enemies? If not, you are a prime target for the system. Anger is one of the major qualities which leads to restraining orders, family break up, DCF problems, and criminal prosecutions. Problem is, most angry people don't see it in themselves; They just think it is normal, like a fish sees swimming in water sees it as normal.
Are you drug-dependant? If so, why? What are you escaping from? Or to? Because the government is so big and powerful, it will find out. All pre-natal and birth care includes drug screening. People rat others out once the system has its eye on you. It gets found out, it just does, in a lot of ways. In the police state, the government makes huge money from its war on drugs. So, it becomes a war on you, for the money.
Do you have kids but don't want to be married? If so, why? God made marriage the normal thing, a covenant for everyone. It civilizes men, provides love and nurture for women, and gives children the limits and training they need. If you reject it, you become a prime target for the government, because so much will be missing from your life. Many DCF child kidnappings happen in fractured, abusive relationships.
Are you dependant on government for your money, medical care, housing, etc? Maybe you have no choice. But maybe you do, and just don't want to pull out of the mess. If you live that way, you will have the Evil Eye on you 24/7 from somewhere.
Government Can't "Fix" People.
What I have said here will surely be mocked. Marriage? Work hard? Cut the drugs? Forgive your enemies? Hah! What an old fogey. Get hip, man! That stuff is old. But so is the freedom that these things used to bring.
Government put all these nasty programs and agencies into place because families and community and religion were no longer restraining us and keeping things under control.
I don't agree that they should have made the legal system like they have done. Government always over-reacts and the whole system is one stinking cesspool of corruption, evil, money, power and pain. But they put it into place because they figured that someone or something has to keep order.
Of course, government can't fix people. Government can send you to programs, but a program won't fix you if you don't want to be "fixed". People are not machines, and the government programs act as though they are. Only God, and families, and churches, and the people themselves can fix people on a human level.
Drug Rehab does not work if the person does not want to be rehabed. Nor does anger management, batterer's programs, AA, or anything else. Persons have souls. Persons have minds, emotions and wills. Only when a person decides to "put off" the old thinking and replace it with new thinking and habits, will anything change.
Three Benefits of Repentance.
To survive and even thrive, despite the disaster that has happened to your family, you will need a change of life and a lot of power from on high to make it happen.
Repentance means going the other direction - putting off the old habits of mind like anger, lust, pride, sloth or whatever, and putting on kindness, humility, and strength.
You need three things right now, and most of us are pushed beyond our endurance unless we have them.
First, you need strength to get throught this trial by fire and to stay sane and focused so you can win. If you fall into despondency, you can't fight and it just goes into a downward spiral. You need the power to keep going for a long time, because the system is so evil that it does not resolve these cases quickly. There are not enough judges to get to things in a timely way, and no one in the system cares a bit. So, you wait and wait, sometimes for years. Without staying power, you may succomb to the pain.
Second, you need the wisdom to change things in your life so that the government will look more favorably upon you. If you deal with the anger, the drugs, the mental illness, the dysfunction in your life, the system may turn you loose much sooner.
Third, you need the assurance of lasting change, otherwise you will continue to be a target. No sooner will they let you go, when you will find yourself ensnared again, because the same things which prompted the government to intervene were not addressed.
What Do You Do?
David the Psalmist said it like this in Psalm 51 (Ps. 50 for Catholics & Orthodox)
Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight that You may be found just when You speak, and blameless when You judge.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.
Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which You have broken may rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
What is the big idea of assuming that the reader will embrace some kind of religion? Isn't that completely judgmental and intolerant? That is up to you. If you have a better answer, I have not seen it. If God made us in his image for a good purpose, and we have strayed away, it is not wrong for me to point to the way back to life and restoration.