Dept. of Children and Families Dirty Tricks
This material is an introduction to the operating procedure of the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families (DCF), and most of the state child protection agencies around the country. You won't find this stuff in the DCF policy manual, but it ought to be there, since most of the social workers use these tactics. I imagine that the social workers pass them on as oral tradition from generation to generation.
Their goal: Take a$ many children as po$$ible from famlie$, becau$e the more children they take, the more federal reimbur$ement buck$ the agency get$, the more power it accrue$, and the more people it can hire. The primary intere$t of all bureaucracie$ like DCF i$ to get a$ much money and power as po$$ible, in an ever upward $piral.
Their method: Dirty tricks.
Forget the law and regulations. Here is the real policy manual for DCF. Their employees do not fear the law or any consequences to themselves personally for harming children, since the law gives them substantial legal immunity, and even judges and lawyers are afraid of their power.
There is a big difference between the "system", which is the government agency which makes the policy and protects its people from accountability, and the people who work in the system. Some of them are quite decent and want to help. However, they usually cannot help in most cases, either because DCF does not pay for services any more, or, in the case of stubborn bad parents, because people are not machines who can be "fixed" by going to programs or change by being bullied.
Many good social workers find this out, and discover - to their horror - just how corrupt the agency is, and leave it. Others try to reform it. Some just get cynical and weary and just do their jobs.
Many DCF agents do not discern the difference between actual abuse and minor harm, and so they take thousands of children every year from families who have not abused them. Spanking, arguing, accidents, home schooling, restrictions on going out, even praying, are now considered to be abuse or neglect.
Even if they don't take the children, they still find the smallest little pretexts for investigating and opening a case, and staying involved with your family for long periods. This includes monthly visits, all kinds of reports, additional assessments, making you go to programs and services, and generally telling you what to do - OR ELSE!
If you have purposely abused or neglected your children, that is a different story, and you should get a lawyer to help you. Even if you have ignorantly abused or neglected your children, there is much less that can be done to stop the agency from coming after you.
Most people simply do not believe that a government agency charged with helping families and children would use these police-state tactics set out below. Believe it. Sometimes it takes months of being on the business end of their dirty tricks before a person finally realizes that the DCF agent is NOT their friend. This information will help you shorten that process , and get you up to speed faster, so you can start protecting yourself.
This material is not a substitute for good legal help. When DCF comes a-callin', must people need a good, dedicated lawyer in order to win. To have a chance against them, you and your lawyer must fight like your children's future depends on it. It does.
Dirty Trick No. One
The DCF will pretend to help you, when they are really gathering evidence to take your children. It's a new police state out there.
The first DCF dirty trick is making you think they would NEVER use dirty tricks to take your children. Beneath the nice exterior of your friendly DCF agent is a person whose job is to take children - your children. DCF takes children from about 25% of the families for which they provide services, and that percentage is on the increase. That's where the $$$$ in child protection is. Federal reimbursements go 90% to the foster care end of the business, and about 10% to family help.
They are Only There to "Help"
DCF is there to help you, right? Wrong. Former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, Jim Wright, a wiley Texan, was a master at "helping" his opponents. He would say, when he was trying to twist the arms of his colleagues, "Ah only want to hep yew." When he was "heppin' yew", that's when you had to be the most careful. It is the same with the DCF.
Some DCF agents want to help families, and some don't. However, the system itself does not want to help, but to take your kids. Most DCF agents don't know the money politics behind the edicts from above. They are just instructed to take kids if possible. Even judges cannot reign the DCF in. So they do as they please, not what the law allows or requires. They have managed to form their own secret police, just like in Communist countries.
Some parents ask the DCF for "voluntary services", only to find out too late that was a big mistake. When you ask for help, they start looking closely, and find that the reason for the request for help is usually a good enough reason to take the children. Asking DCF for help is literally asking to have your children taken.
The Law Requires Them to Try to Unite Families
The law says that DCF must try to unite families. Specifically, Massachusetts General Laws, Chapter 119, Section 1 says:
"It is hereby declared to be the policy of this commonwealth to direct its efforts, first, to the strengthening and encouragement of family life for the care and protection of children; to assist and encourage the use by any family of all available resources to this end; and to provide substitute care of children only when the family itself or the resources available to the family are unable to provide the necessary care and protection to insure the rights of any child to sound health and normal physical, mental, spiritual and moral development."
They talk about help, and stabilizing intact families, and therapy, but that is often not true. If you have had a bunch of social workers buzzing around your head like yellow jackets for a year or so, you know what I am saying.
The Friendly Social Worker is Not Your Friend
So, their first dirty trick is to say they want to help you. Don't fall for it. They will offer "services", and home visits, and nice chats about your life and the bad things your spouse did. Be nice, but don't buy it. They do not want to help you. Be pleasant, but firm. As explained in the next section, if you talk, or accept their ‘services', you may never see your children again.
Can This Be Happening in America?
If you foolishly think that DCF will play by the rules, then they will exploit your weakness, and take your children. If you play by the rules, they will exploit that, and take your children. But if you know how the game is played, you may have a chance to keep your children, or get them back after they are taken. The secret police can be outsmarted.
You will likely ask yourself, "How can this be happening in America?" It IS happening, and it is because politicians have been willing to compromise liberty and family rights for support from radical political groups who demanded these laws. While no one was watching, these people stole our American System of law and due process, and family rights, and liberty, and quietly substituted this new nightmare of a secret police system that you are now dealing with.
People assume that they will get justice in our courts. No longer. It's gone. The old America that respected family privacy is gone. A new Soviet-style system has taken its place. The sooner you acknowledge that horrible reality, the sooner you stop believing that the old system just HAS to give you justice, the sooner you can start fighting back in an effective manner.
Dirty Trick No. Two
The DCF will demand to be let in, or they will get police and break in.
Should you let them in? Can you even keep them out? The answer is: Maybe. You kinda have to let them in, because they threaten to take children if you don't.
Please see the section entitled, "What to do when DCF comes to your door".
The Massachusetts Declaration of Rights (the Massachusetts State Constitution), Part the First, Article XIV, states that:
Every subject has a right to be secure from all unreasonable searches, and seizures, of his person, his houses, his papers, and all his possessions. All warrants, therefore, are contrary to this right, if the cause or foundation for them be not previously supported by oath or affirmation; and if the order in the warrant to a civil officer, to make search in suspected places, or to arrest one or more suspected persons, or to seize their property, be not accompanied with a special designation of the persons or objects of search, arrest, or seizure: and no warrant ought to be issued but in cases, and with the formalities prescribed by the laws.
This Article says they cannot come in or take your children without a warrant. However, courts usually ignore the clear wording of our Constitution, and turn a blind eye to this outrageous wrong. Their excuse is that the law does not apply because the "best interest of the children" overrides the law.
My recommendation: Stand on your rights, and politely, but firmly, demand a warrant before letting them in. Talk to your lawyer before doing this, because it is risky, even though it is right. If there is a policeman with a gun, who will not back off when confronted with the Constitutional requirement to get a warrant, you better let him in, and live to fight another day.
Dirty Trick No. Three
The DCF will try to get you to talk. SHUT UP!! Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law to take and keep your children.
When dealing with any government agency, including DCF, three rules always apply:
1. Don’t say anything;
2. Keep your mouth shut;
3. SHUT UP!
You have the right to remain silent, but they will try to get you to talk. Shut up until your tongue bleeds if you have to. You may have a hurt tongue, but you'll still have your kids.
Why? Because everything you say will be used against you in a court of law to take your kids.
Of course, everyone has heard the "Miranda" warning on cop shows and movies, about the right to remain silent. Well, it is true. More people than you would ever believe go to jail because of what they themselves told the police. It's the same with DCF, only kids are at stake, not a criminal prosecution.
They will threaten you, smile at you, tell you they will take your kids, tell you they will NOT take your kids; Anything to get you to talk. Without your words, they often have only what they can coerce out of your children, doctors, friends, school snitches, or therapists.
You have to be quiet about anything involving your family, while all the while showing that you are being "cooperative" and complying with the social worker. This is not an easy task being cooperative and silent at the same time, but you must do it.
"If You Talk, We May Go Easier On You"
The DCF social worker will try to convince you to talk, because she only wants to "help" you, and they will make trouble for you if you don't. Don't believe them. Without your "disclosures", unless they can get the information from some other source, they can't do as much harm. Put another way, with your disclosures, they CAN harm you and your children.
When confronted with DCF power, many parents panic, or feel that they have nothing to hide, so they talk. However, if you do, you may never see your children again. Why? Because these are trained interrogators with unlimited power, and you are no match for them.
What do they want to talk about? Anything, because you will eventually give them a tidbit about abuse here, a "disclosure" there, maybe a story about your husband spanking the children, and then, out of your own mouth, they have their case.
For example, if you admit to having trouble with your partner, the DCF agent may force you to get a restraining order, and throw the "abuser" out. You will have to write out a statement under oath about the "abuse". Then, they have their case against your family, using your own words in a court of law to prove there is "domestic violence".
If a Criminal Matter is Pending, You CAN'T Talk
Do not speak a word to the DCF social worker if she has referred your (or your partner’s) case to the District Attorney for possible prosecution. Tell the social worker that because they have made criminal allegations and accused you of a crime, you cannot speak about things until that is resolved. They may retaliate and threaten you with legal action, so this has to be handled carefully. That is where you need a lawyer, pronto.
Everything You Say Will be Twisted
Everything you say to a DCF agent will show up in a report, twisted in a way you will not recognize. If you say you argue with your husband, the report will say, "Husband is verbally abusive". If you say that you discipline your children by spanking them, the report will say, "Parents physically abuse children." If you tell them you are depressed, the report will say, "Parent has severe mental health issues." If you say your partner drinks a beer after work, he will become an "alcoholic" in the report.
Then they will send you to their approved hack therapist to obtain more admissions, who they can count on to secretly report what you say, in violation of patient confidentiality laws. Don't go to therapy unless you are certain that the therapist despises DCF.
What Should You Do?
So what should you do? Act like a prisoner of war, which you are. Give them your name, rank and serial number, and little more, while learning how to chat them up very pleasantly about everything BUT your family. Be wonderfully nice, but don't give them the goods.
Also, if you can, get a lawyer who knows about DCF, and then you can blame him for not talking. Tell the DCF agent that you are sorry, that you really want to cooperate, but your lawyer requires that all communication goes through him. Don’t sign anything without the lawyer seeing it first.
Do all this with a pleasant smile, and sound sorry that you can't "help" them. Blaming the lawyer is a wonderful thing. What can they do? Everyone knows lawyers are evil.
So, SHUT UP. If you know just those two words, you will prevent about 90% of your problems.
Dirty Trick No. Four
DSS agents will abuse and traumatize your children themselves.
If you have ever had your children yanked out of your arms in your home by a DCF agent, or have been shoved aside by one of them in your own home so that she could talk to your child privately, or suffered some other indignity at their hands, you must wonder - what kind of monsters are these people? That is a good question, and the answer is: Many of them are child abusers, posing as protectors of children.
In fact, some of them are child abusers under their own definition of “abuse”. If you did the things they did, they would charge YOU with abuse. They keep children in their custody out of school, drug them to the gills, grill them repeatedly about their lives in their home, and keep them from any meaningful contact with their parents for a year while a case is going on.
Genuine child abuse exists, of course, and is defined in the law as doing severe physical harm. Real child abusers should be criminally prosecuted and jailed, if guilty. But many times, the DCF agent's definition of abuse is some psychic perversion of her own making, rather than real, actual child abuse.
To a DCF agent, “abuse” can mean you have religious or family belief that differs from those of the DCF agent, or that you spank your kid when he is bad, or that you home school, or that you adhere to conservative family values. Recently, a petition for removal of a child from a family cited a mother praying with her child as harmful.
Men are Abusers, Women are Victims, The Children are Ours
Most DCF agents actually believe that children should belong to the state, and that parents are evil. Their motto could be:
MEN ARE ABUSERS.
WOMEN ARE VICTIMS.
THE CHILDREN ARE OURS.
The DCF has now started to come after single women with a vengeance, primarily for drug abuse, so that this long-standing principle is getting somewhat modified. In most cases, however, it applies.
If you play the victim (even a male victim), and you show that you "need" DCF and the social worker’s wonderful help, they may work with you. If you keep your dignity and independence (even if you are a woman), then you must be crushed. Only victims thrive in their perverse world. Independent people who do not need them have their children taken away.
And they never forgive or forget. If you smoked dope twenty years ago, you may be a child abuser.
Because of the psychological need by social workers to control and be needed, you must learn to act very respectful, all the while keeping your strength and independence. It's pretty tricky to do that.
Many DCF agents do not have children of their own, nor do they understand that families go through some bad patches once in a while, and just have to be given some room to work it out. The DCF agent, upon hearing from one of their police-state snitches, can swoop in like a vulture, and steal your children. No mercy. No explanations.
They will, without a pang of conscience, traumatize your children by prying their little fingers off your legs as they wail and cry, and sticking them in their car, maybe never to be seen by you again. Or rip your children, screaming and panicked, from your arms, while sneering about what an abuser you are. Paul the Apostle nailed them when he called such people, "senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless." (Romans 1:31).
After ruining your whole life by taking your kids away, DCF agents actually wonder why you don't warm up to them, and don't want to work with them closely. It's as though they had punched you in the nose, and then wonder why you bleed.
Children Must Be Taken From Families!
Most DCF agents are either classic Fascists or Marxists, which means they believe children belong to the state. You, the parent, get to spawn, feed and clothe them, but then the state must educate them, train them to be wards of the state, and take them away if you mess up.
Many DCF agents believe that the state is god, and support its domination in all spheres of life. That group believes that rights derive from government authority, not from God, and so they resent all authority which does not acknowledge that. If you are religious, some DCF agents will show a bias against you because of it. Some minority of them hate family autonomy, parental authority, home schoolers, and church authority.
This is not an exaggeration. Dr. Mary Jo Bane, former president Bill Clinton's Assistant Secretary of Administration for Children and Families in the Department of Health and Human Services, said:
"If we want to talk about equality of opportunity for children, then the fact that children are raised in families means there's no equality . . . In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them." Her federal department is in charge of the national effort to mold state DCF departments into their image.
A congress of Russian Communist Party educators in 1918 sounds like the credo of the modern DCF agent: "We must remove the children from the crude influence of their families. We must take them over and, to speak frankly, nationalize them." The Communist Manifesto, written by Karl Marx, called for the "abolition of the family."
The DCF agents have read that book, and they are coming for your children.
Dirty Trick No. Five
The DCF will try to get one parent to say incriminating things about the other, especially about domestic abuse.
Divide and Conquer - Part 1. Getting One Parent to Rat Out the Other
One of the favorite DCF dirty tricks is to get one parent to say negative things about the other. This accomplishes many wonderful things from their viewpoint.
First Step- Get "Disclosures.
When DCF agents come to your door, they have one goal - to get "disclosures" from the children, or from one parent about how she fears the other, or how he ‘abuses' her, or argues, or that there are some kind of family problems. Thus, the critical importance of the advice to SHUT UP, and to not say anything bad about your partner. If you do, it will be the beginning of the end, and these disclosures will form the basis for the DCF case against you, following like day after night.
Second Step - Get a Restraining Order
If one parent says something negative about the other one, then the DCF agent can force the talking parent to get a restraining order against the other "abusive" one. The DCF agent will usually threaten: "If you don't get a restraining order against him, we will take (or keep) your children." Then the person is forced to choose - husband or children.
The DCF agent will then drive the woman to court to get a restraining order, and even force her to commit perjury, by claiming she is suffering abuse when there is none. The court will almost always issue the order on coerced and perjured testimony. Never mind that forcing someone to testify falsely is a crime, called "suborning perjury". Courts know they do it, but it is rarely challenged.
The results of this are many. The man is thrown out of the house. They have added to their ‘abuse' statistics. To get the order, you have filled out a statement under oath claiming abuse, and they now have a basis for a case against your family - under oath.
Step Three - Get the Other Parent to Retaliate
With a restraining order now in hand, which "proves" abuse, and the "disclosures" the woman gives them, they now have proof that the other parent is unfit. Then, they will go to that other parent, usually the man, and work him over. They will tell him the woman said nasty things about him in an effort to get him to say nasty things about her. Either in defense or retaliation, the man will often comply.
Now they can prove both parents unfit, and they almost own your family. Only one step remains. Get the children to make disclosures about the parents.
Dirty Trick No. Six
The DCF will try to get your child to make ‘disclosures' about you, using manipulation, coercion, and fear.
Divide and Conquer - Part 2. Getting the Child to Rat Out the Parent.
One of the first things DCF does, whether they take the children into captivity or not, is to entice or terrify them into making ‘disclosures' about the parents.
This is one of their dirtiest of tricks, and one of the many reasons why I believe that some DCF agents are themselves abusers. They will manipulate your frightened children into saying almost anything that they want to hear. Think about how the poor child feels at that point - kidnapped from parents, alone, lost, disoriented, and usually drugged up.
They have several tactics, described below:
Every Child Needs Therapy
First and foremost, nearly EVERY child that DCF takes into captivity goes into "therapy", on the surface to help the child, but really to obtain disclosures against you. Obviously, every child they take cannot be mentally ill, but that does not matter- therapy is the order of the day. They must get the admissions from the child to make the case against you and prove that you are unfit.
If the "therapist" can obtain information from the child about you that may hint of abuse, she will breathlessly call the DCF Snitch-Line (Hotline) or call the DCF agent and give her the information. High fives all around. They now have a case against you!
The "therapists" that they use are often unlicensed, and many of them work for huge bloated non-profit "therapy mills", which are little more than arms of the DCF. For example, South Bay Mental Health Associates has eight offices, each of them in a city with a DCF office. Four of the eight are in the same building as a DCF office! The other four are next door or nearby. The unlicenced "therapists" make medical and clinical diagnoses of your child (even if the child's own doctor has made a completely different diagnosis), to prove there has been abuse.
Drug 'em, And They'll Talk
The former DCF commissioner admitted in testimony to the Massachusetts State Legislature that they drug 88% of the children they kidnap. And these drugs are not aspirin, but powerful psychotropic or anti-psychotic drugs, most of which are not approved for children by the U.S. Food & Drug Administration. Many children are fed several of these drugs, and the children turn into zombies, willing to say anything. They don't even know where they are sometimes. The drug dealers (psychiatrists) are in cahoots with the DCF to do this to your precious babies. Child abusers!
Prisoner of War Tactics
The tactics used by these fake therapists are akin to those used by interrogators in war. The strategies work with children, because they are frightened, traumatized, taken out of the security of their home, and are sometimes being abused or ill fed by their foster parents. Under these circumstances, your own children may say the most amazing and untrue things about you after a few months in captivity. In Soviet Russia, prisoners would eventually admit to most anything.
One technique they use is repeatedly suggesting to the child that mommy and daddy abused them. They implant the idea in the frightened child's head until the child "recovers memories" of the past abuse. They ask, "Did Daddy touch you there?" If the answer is no, they ask the same question more insistently, use doll therapy, or find some other way to make the child feel "comfortable" about making admissions.
These sessions can go on weekly for months, or even a year. After that amount of coercion, it is not surprising that they get admissions. The kids don't even know what is reality and what is imagination after repeated interviews of this sort.
They always believe a child's "disclosures", but never his denials.
The process only goes one way, like a ratchet. If they can get a disclosure using coercion, manipulation, fear, emotional or physical abuse, appeal to pleasing the captors, or anything else short of torture, that admission becomes the "truth". It can now never be denied, even if the child repeatedly recants it. Then they go to work to get the child to say more, which will also become more "truth" which can never be denied. They always believe a child's disclosures, but never his denials.
Even if the story changes day to day, it does not matter. It is "real" to the child, even if it is fantastic and impossible in real life that it happened that way.
The best thing you can do to counter this dirty trick is to make sure, in advance, that your child knows that you only talk to mommy and daddy about things going on in the family, never outsiders. If your children have the inner strength to resist their predatory tactics, and don't make disclosures to the interrogators, you will likely get them back.
Additionally, don't send them to your enemies at the government propaganda and re-education camp known as a public school, where everyone there is part of the snitch network, and working hand and glove with DCF against you.
Dirty Trick No. Seven
The DCF will try to make sure you get a lawyer who will work with them, not against them.
Your Enemy, the Lawyer - Don't Get One of Theirs
Not only will the DCF try to divide and conquer you, your partner, and your children, but they will try to compromise your lawyer, as well. This is especially true if each partner has a court appointed lawyer, along with a different one for the kids.
Yukking it Up With DCF and Its Lawyer
A lot of the lawyers who rely on DCF for their work are good friends with its lawyers and social workers, but you may not know it until it is too late. Some agree with the DCF agenda, and others are just too timid to stand up to them. Some never support parents. One lawyer is so cozy and reliable for DCF, he has his own key to the local DCF office!
It does not mean that your lawyer should avoid or not communicate with DCF lawyers. They need to do that for many reasons. But that is different than being comfortable with hanging around them.
How do you tell if you have the right lawyer? You have the wrong one if she tells you to cooperate with DCF without explaining HOW you must do it to avoid further harm. You certainly have to work with DCF on some level, but not uncritically and in a way that will make it worse.
You also may have the wrong lawyer one if you see her laughing it up with the DCF lawyer or social workers, unless she tells you it is a game to get them off guard and you know it is a ploy.
The right lawyer will have courage, will believe in the rights of the individual against the state, will respect constitutional restraint on government, will hate the police-state tactics of the DCF, will affirm parental and family authority against the state, will stand up to every unlawful and biased ruling of a judge without fear, and will hate the DCF with a gut-level hatred because it respects none of these things.
Dirty Trick No. Eight
After DCF takes your children, DCF may only keep the children 72 hours, unless the juvenile court holds a hearing and orders that DCF gets to keep them.
The "72 Hour Hearing" A Cruel Mockery by DCF and The Court
If DCF takes your children, the law requires the court to schedule a hearing within 72 hours, where you can prove that they should give your children back. (Mass. Gen. Laws, Chapter 119, Section 24). That 72 hours includes weekends, so if they snatch them late Friday (their favorite time, because the court isn't open), they technically must give you a hearing date on Monday. They often don't.
The DCF Dirty Tricks machine usually goes into overdrive at these hearings, because if you win, they have to give your children back to you, and you walk out with your family saved.
72 Hours or 72 Days
Because the legislature has not appointed enough judges to deal with the number of children that DCF takes from families, it is rare to have a hearing within 72 hours, as required by law.
Technically, they cannot keep the children beyond 72 hours without a hearing, but judges allow them to get away with it. In fact, hearings are more often done in 72 days than 72 hours. The only bright spot is that you get more time to prepare for the hearing.
Dirty Trick No. Nine
DCF or your own lawyer may try to get you to waive the 72 hour hearing. If you do, you lose your kids for a year, if not forever.
Many court-appointed lawyers will urge you to waive the 72 hour hearing, and just agree to let DCF keep your children. However, they will not tell you that when you do this, it means that you agree that you are unfit right now, and you may not get your kids back for a year. Your only contact with your child during that year will be in some dank DCF office for an hour a week.
Some will even meet secretly with DCF and the judge to waive the hearing without telling you they did so, or telling you the purpose of the hearing. So, you never know that you just lost your rights to your kids and the court assumes you are unfit.
If your lawyer asks you to waive or to skip the hearing. DO NOT DO IT, DO NOT DO IT, DO NOT DO IT, unless you have committed serious abuse or a criminal act. Even if you have committed a "crime" in theory, you can claim the 5th Amendment and not testify against yourself. The problem with that is that a judge can assume - in a civil proceeding like this - that you did whatever you won't talk about.
In most cases, you should go on record as opposing the DCF taking your kids. If you do not, it can be used against you later. But worse is that if you give up on this hearing, it is the one and only chance you will have for a full year to try to get your kids back.
The divide and conquer strategy works very well for the DCF at these hearings. If they can get the spouses and their lawyers to go at each other at this early stage, instead of fighting the REAL enemy (DCF), they can easily win.
Tell your lawyer to fight in collaboration with the other lawyers as far as possible, so your kids may come home.
If the lawyer cannot get the hearing prepared in time, then ask the lawyer to get a brief time extension for a few days so he or she can be ready. But don't waive it. Waive the 72 Hour Hearing, and Wave Goodbye to Your Children
Dirty Trick No. Ten
At the "72 Hour Hearing", DCF will rarely meet the legal standard for keeping custody of your children, but will argue to the court that they should do so anyway.
The legal standard for DCF keeping your children is in Mass. General Laws, Chapter 119, Sections 24 and 29C. To keep custody of your children, the DCF must prove by a preponderance of evidence (that is, more likely than not, or 51%), that:
The DCF often fails to show that the parents have committed serious abuse as defined by the law, or that the DCF has made reasonable efforts to keep them at home. Judges frequently let DCF keep your children anyway.
Dirty Trick No. Ten
The DCF agent will try to get into your home to do an assessment following its investigation, but will use the evidence gathered there against you to take your children.
DCF dirty trick Number Ten is about how DCF gets you to give them the information they need to take or to keep your children, and also to have a permanent record of virtually every private fact about your family. Then, at the right time, now, or years or even decades later, they can pull out that information to use against your family.
This process is called an “assessment”, and it comes after the initial investigation of any complaint of abuse or neglect, but it is very fact-intense. They hire a battalion of social workers in each area office to do these super-investigations.
If you have had the displeasure of enduring an initial DCF investigation of your family, you may sigh and think you are done being poked and prodded for information. However, you are just getting started. The next phase will come in the form of a new DCF worker with a chirpy disposition on the phone who will tell you, "We Just Need to Come in to Do Our Assessment".
Assessment workers are supposed to make three visits to the home and gather a trove of information to fill up the DCF Big Brother computer with every fact possible about your family. It is little more than “data-mining” required by regulations. (You can look it up on-line: 110 Code Mass. Reg. §5.00 through 5.05)
The chirpy assessment worker has a ten page form to fill out with all of your family’s personal information over three visits. It starts with the known and obvious stuff like names and addresses, and information about parents and siblings, education, and employment.
Then it progresses to information about your earlier family life and how you were treated by your parents, and whether your parents were addicts or abusers. It also asks whether you or any family member are addicts or abusers.
They also interview your children separately and ask embarrassing questions about drugs, alcohol, observations about their parents and life in the home (in order to get them rat out their parents) and then proceed to really personal things like the children’s sexual preferences and feelings. Little five year old Sally may be an incipient trans-gendered non-binary gender fluid person, so we cannot crush her valid self expression.
Many assessment workers want to get "disclosures" about abuse, or to get admissions from one parent about the other or from the children about the parents. Some will look for defects in your housekeeping, any unsafe conditions in the home, or any other specific issue raised in the earlier investigation that the DCF may want to explore in greater detail.
So, what should you do when the chirpy social worker calls for the first assessment visit? This gets tricky, because if you don’t allow them in, they get very hostile. If you do allow them in, the main thing is to minimize the amount of information you give them. For example, when they ask about your childhood, tell them everything was fine, your parents treated you well, and you grew up in a nice situation. Then, they don’t get their hoped-for dirt.
As always, put on the coffee and cookies for the social worker, and treat her with respect and dignity, while giving her the bare minimum of information. That is always the best posture when dealing with jack booted government thugs of any sort, even when they come disguised as DCF social workers.
Dirty Trick No. Eleven
The DCF has a network of "mandated reporters" everywhere your child is, to snitch on you. All helping professionals are required to report you to DCF if they suspect abuse; The people you think will help you will now betray you, MUST betray you, even clergy.
Everyone is a Snitch- Who Can You Talk To?
One of the scariest DCF dirty tricks is a vast Soviet Style snitch network which they have set up all over the state, with the force of law, to report you to the authorities. This network is made up of ALL teachers, doctors, nurses, counselors, therapists, police officers, dentists, chiropractors, day care workers, school counselors, clergy, etc. These people must report any suspected "abuse", or be prosecuted and fined. While there is a penalty for making a totally frivolous report, it is almost never enforced. See Mass. Gen Laws Chapter 119, Section 51A. However, they can really be hammered if they DO NOT report, so they do.
All these people, called "mandated reporters", have been endlessly taught the importance of reporting. All their professional seminars, their whole culture, demands that they report just in case. When in doubt, they report. Then, if there really is abuse, they won't get in trouble. Thus, the DCF has a seamless web of snoops and spies just about everywhere a child is likely to be.
Now, when you go to a therapist to get help, or when you take Johnny to the emergency room if he falls off his bike, or when you talk to his school counselor, watch out. You are now a suspect. The person to whom you turned for help is likely your enemy, and may turn you in. You may go for help, and end up losing your kids.
You need to think differently about how to get help, and check out any helpers very carefully. You can't just ask directly either, or they will get suspicious of that. You need to talk with the provider for a while and see if you can sense how they feel about DCF and reporting, without arousing any concerns.
The Cubans under Fidel Castro have a similar system, called Committees for the Defense of the Revolution. Each block has a snitch group that reports anything suspicious, or any criticism of the government. Then, the person simply disappears. Just like your kids do.
Even Your Child is a Snitch
Even worse, you are no longer safe from the DCF police in your own home. They have also found a way to turn your own child against you. At the government (public) school, children are given the DCF phone number, and are taught to report things they see in the home to the authorities, like corporal punishment, drug use, and even family arguments. They break down children's respect for their parents, and foster a submission to the state.
Hitler had a similar, and very effective program that did this, called the "Hitler Youth".
What they don't tell a child is that if he reports his parents to DCF, he may destroy his whole family forever. The child may be mad about getting disciplined, or not getting a new iPhone, or not being allowed to hang around with a boyfriend, so he'll get even by siccing DCF on them. That is especially common in divorce situations where the children are experiencing pain of losing a parent, and in teenagers who are starting to rebel and want to leave home.
Then, once they get the report from the child, they can swoop in with the armed enforcers and take that child, and all the other ones, too, just in case. Of course, DCF didn't tell the child that it would happen that way, but now it's now too late, just like Judas.
Dirty Trick No. Twelve
If you ask DCF for help during a family crisis or problem, chances are better that they will end up taking your children, not helping.
You Thought You Were Getting Help
You may have been going through a bad time with your child. The child could be defiant, skipping school, sneaking out at night, or getting in trouble around the neighborhood. Maybe even smoking dope or something worse.
No matter what has happened, never ask the DCF for help. Many people do, and lose their kids. Their literature and web site says they will help. The help usually results in taking your children.
Where Can You Go?
Who can you go to if your kids need help? Only one group of professionals cannot be made to divulge what you tell them: Lawyers. Anyone else can rat you out: Your minister, your doctor, your friend, your sister, your child's teacher, anyone.
Lawyers have what is supposed to be an ironclad duty not to say anything to DCF, called "attorney-client privilege". Even some lawyers, wanting to curry favor with DCF, will actually betray their client's confidences. So, find a lawyer who hates DCF, and tell him your problems. That lawyer may be able to help you find a medical professional - maybe even out of state - who hates DCF enough to not report if your child has been hurt.
Solve Half of Your Snitch Problem With This One Action
The other thing you MUST do is get your children out of the government (public) school. It is the major pipeline from DCF to your child. DCF takes children right out of school when they can coerce them into making "disclosures", and they don't come home that day. Sometimes DCF doesn't even tell the parents, and when mom comes to pick up the child at the bus stop, there is no child, and no one knows why. Needless to say, the parents are frantic, until they finally figure out what happened.
If you send your kids to a government school, you are sending them to your enemy to be educated. They will be taught to hate you and your values, and to sell you out. They will learn to love everything you hate, and to hate everything you love. Get them out, before it's too late. This is the principle of "staying under the radar", which we review in detail in the "Fight Back" section.
Dirty Trick No. Thirteen
They earn up to hundreds of thousands of dollars per year per child taken, and keep a lot of bureaucrats in work.
Follow the Money - There's Gold in Them Thar' Kids
If DCF has stolen your children, you are probably tormented, thinking, "Why? Why?", anguishing day after sleepless night over why this has all happened. As with many things in life, when there seems to be no rational basis for what has happened, there really is a hidden one - follow the money.
In this case, the DCF can make a ton of money by ‘leasing' out your child to a foster home for a year, and then ‘selling' (adopting out) the child at the end of the ‘lease'. While the child is in their captivity, they can leverage lots of state and federal cash from numerous medical, educational and therapy programs. If DCF can get you to incriminate yourself, or manipulate your child into making false disclosures, they can get a court to terminate your parental rights, and then adopt the child out, for more big bucks.
The More They Take, the More They Make
Federal law actually establishes adoption quotas for each state, with bonuses for each child adopted out, and even more money for every child adopted which exceeds that state's quota.
‘Special needs' children earn even more for the state, because they can leverage even more reimbursements from many programs, both during the ‘lease' period and at the final ‘sale' (adoption). A researcher in one state found that a severely needy child can earn its masters up to $250,000 a year in government money. We are still awaiting the figures for the Commonwealth, but the state budget for the DCF alone is approaching a billion dollars, not including many times that for lots of outside contractors and medical care.
If They Can Keep the Children Long Enough, They Must Be AdoptedKeeping the children for a year is important, because, under a new law, they must adopt them out after 15 months! So, if DCF can keep your children a little over a year, they can sell them for some significant cash. They will drag out the case as long as possible to manipulate this outcome. Yes, they will literally SELL your children because they themselves have kept them too long. You should see, as I have, the DCF agents having warm fuzzies over this, while the parents bitterly weep.
Do they actually sell children?
We have evidence to believe, but cannot definitively prove, that individual DCF agents take bribes from adoptive parents to buy babies from DCF. Because the evil state laws have made adoption so difficult, expensive, and controlled by state-granted monopolies, adoption is horrendously expensive. A few grand to the DCF agent saves tens of thousands, and gets the process moving a lot better in court. The social worker merely has to lie or shade the truth about the parent's fitness, and maybe share the loot with others who will lie as well. And the parents never see their child again.
Dirty Trick No. Fourteen
If DCF takes your children, they will keep them for a year, and many times try to adopt them out.
The All-Important Temporary Custody (72 Hour) Hearing
When DCF takes children from a parent, the law requires that DCF provide a hearing within 72 hours to allow the parent to challenge the basis for taking them. As we covered in Dirty Tricks nine and ten, many lawyers ask a parent to waive the right to a hearing, without telling the parent that it may take a year to get them back, if at all.
If the court does conduct a temporary custody hearing, at the insistence of parents or counsel, chances are good that the court will rule in favor of DCF, because that is the way the law is set up. If that happens, then the agency gets to keep the children, usually for at least a year before an opportunity for a trial.
Why Does It take so long to get to trial?
The law sets out “time standards” for the Juvenile Court which require cases to be tried within fifteen months of taking children into state captivity. This long time frame is ostensibly to allow the parents to complete the tasks on their so-called “Action Plan”, which is a list of things the parent must do to address the issues of abuse and neglect which brought the case into the system.
Sometimes these issues are quite real, such as drug or alcohol abuse, and they do take some time to address. However, in back of that is a hard reality that the court is breathtakingly overcrowded and backed up, and simply does not have enough judges to get to cases on time. That is on the state legislature for not appointing enough judges to handle the load in the court.
Can The Parents Cut a Deal In Lieu of Trial
In many cases, lawyers can work out a deal with DCF to slowly return the children to the family, as they complete the tasks on their “action plan”. An agreement to return the children without a trial is the ideal, and parents should always try to work out such a plan if it is offered. The alternative is a trial, which takes forever to get, and most often results in permanent termination of parental rights.
If a parent manages to get the case to trial, that is the first time the parent or the lawyer will be allowed to tell the actual full story to a judge. By then, many things will have changed, and the family may look like a tattered ruin in the eyes of a judge.
The State Delays - The Children Pay
The delay caused by the state itself can be used against parents to question their fitness at a trial. The DCF will sometimes argue that it would traumatize the children to take them from their foster home, because they have now bonded with the foster parents. In too many cases, DCF argues that it would traumatize the children to send them back to the parents, even though they had no concern for the child’s emotional well being when they ripped the poor baby out of the mother’s arms a year before at gunpoint.
Massachusetts General Laws, Chapter 210, Section 3, actually makes bonding with the foster parents a basis for terminating parental rights. They take the children, delay the trial, and then use that as a reason why they need to keep them.
Dirty Trick No. Fifteen
The DCF will try to get you to sign an "Action Plan" that will incriminate you, pretend to "fix" you, and help them get information to make their case against you.
Action Plans - The Program to “Fix” Your Family
After the DCF gets involved with your family at any level, whether through an administrative case or by actually taking your children into captivity, they gather a large trove of information about each family member. Then you are ready for their next dirty trick - the so-called Action Plan (which used to be called a “service plan”).
This seven to ten page document is a cut-and-paste mess that serves the purposes of the DCF, that is, to get you to give them evidence to use against you, and to “fix” you and your family members, through therapy, remedial programs and re-education.
These plans now start out with a Clinical Formation And Focus statement on the front, which often contains an inaccurate description of what you did to bring DCF into the family. Inside, they contain a list of “tasks” that each family member must accomplish, as well as what DCF must do during the time the case is open. They look like they were written by the Soviet Minister of Ideology, with lots of psycho-babble and superficial solutions for complex problems.
Tasks and Services - You Get to Pay
These plans used to be called “service plans”, but since DCF would not provide any of the required services, and offloaded their cost entirely onto the parents, they had to change the name to something else. The services in an Action Plan may be things like going to alcoholics anonymous, obtaining random drug screens, attending anger management, and the like.
These programs are usually available only during normal working hours, straining any working parent’s ability to keep a job. Many times the demanded services don't have anything to do with the actual identified problem in the plan.
Sign Ze Papers
The DCF social worker will lay that paper on you and ask both parents to sign it. Even if you have a lawyer, social workers often attempt to meet secretly to review the plan without the lawyer around, a violation of ethics.
A major problem with signing an Action Plan is that they contain admissions of wrongdoing, especially in the clinical formation section. If you do sign it, you are admitting to your ‘crimes' (sometimes literally, if a criminal case is imminent or pending), and committing yourself to go to therapy. As a general rule, don't sign it, unless your lawyer advises you to do so.
If You Do Sign
If you end up having to sign the Action Plan, provide a written correction to anything that is stated falsely. You can write a correction on the plan, or write a separate statement if there is too much to fit on the paper. Then sign, stating, "as corrected."
Next, just go about doing all the assigned tasks on the plan secretly, if possible, and present the results, all complete, to the DCF social worker. Then they cannot say you did not do what you were required to do.
Caution: If you do not do the tasks on the Action Plan, DCF can change the goal from reunification with your children to adoption, and you can lose them at a trial. It is that serious. The judge regards this silly thing as holy writ, and failure to do any assigned task can result in a judge ruling against getting your children back.
Almost every Action Plan requires therapy at some level for every family member, which is the sacred DCF sacramental ritual. If they can get you to go to a therapist of their choice, especially an unlicensed one, then DCF can more easily - and illegally - get access to information to help them make their case against you.
For example, one of their favorite large therapy contractors, South Bay Mental Health, was just fined about $5 million for using unlicensed therapists, who are not bound by confidentiality rules. Plus, they are beholden to DCF and incompetent to boot.
If therapy is required - and it will be - get your own therapist who hates DCF, get your own psychological evaluation, and get a glowing report about your therapy sessions.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line: If you ignore the tasks on the Action Plan, you will face possible removal of your children, loss of your children, or even termination of your parental rights. These things are put together by a committee of people who do not know you, using no scientific or objective criteria.
The tasks you will be assigned are often arbitrary and capricious. But they will determine your future for the next year, and if you don’t do what you are ordered to do, may result in complete loss of your children forever.
Dirty Trick No. Sixteen
The DCF will withhold key records that you need to make your case, even though they are required by law to give them to you.
Records? You Can't Have Your Records.
You are allowed, by law, to get all DCF records for your case. In fact, they MUST give them to you if the case goes to court. (See Mass. Juvenile Court Rule 9(A) - Scroll down) The procedure is explained in the appropriate part of the ‘Fight Back' section.
DCF keeps many kinds of records, including investigation reports, assessment reports, dictation about what they do on a daily basis, medical records of the child, and much else. They usually won't give you anything that they think you don't know about. Familiarize yourself with them, so you can ask for all the different kinds of records.
It is a well documented fact that DCF plays dirty tricks with their records, They alter and falsify them, in order to make you look worse or themselves better. They ‘lose' ones that are helpful to you. They withhold or delay giving you records - sometimes for months - when you ask for them, in order to keep important information out of your hands. They ‘redact', or black out, key parts, so you can't see their dirty tricks.
Insist on getting every scrap of paper. Many treasures await you. For example, the little-known and super-secret Section 29C form, where they often perjure themselves about their "reasonable efforts" to keep your children in your home. Or the dictation, where they type into a computer data base the content of every phone call, conversation or visit. They put the most amazing things on paper that will help you make your case, but you won't know it unless you get everything they have.
Dirty Trick No. Seventeen
The DCF allows you to challenge their findings of abuse - But their own agents do the review, usually a year or two later, and call it a "Fair Hearing".
After the DCF files a report of suspected abuse or neglect against you under Mass. General Laws Chapter 119, Chapter 51A, and then "supports" the finding after an investigation under Section 51B, meaning that they believe it is true, you have an opportunity to contest that finding at a so-called "Fair Hearing". It is "fair" in the same way a communist show trial is fair - first they try you, then they shoot you.
If you get a written decision that the DCF supports abuse after they investigate, you have thirty days to send to the Boston DCF Lair and apply for a ‘fair hearing'. The address is on the notice they send you. (600 Washington St., Boston, MA)
When you want your paperwork so that you can prepare for your hearing, they will stall or simply not give it to you. (See previous dirty trick.)
Months or years later, when you finally do get your hearing, then comes the second dirty trick: The hearing is conducted, not by a judge, but a DCF lawyer! At the beginning of the hearing, the DCF lawyer puts on a show by stating for the record that she is neutral, and has no interest in the outcome. Uh-huh.
Even though they almost always affirm that you are an abuser, still go through the process. Only then, can you appeal to a real court to overturn the finding. (See section on unfair hearings) Plus, it puts on record that you disagree.
Dirty Trick No. Eighteen
The DCF will rarely let you visit your children, and will not let you show them affection when you do.
One-Size Fits-All Approach to Visitation
The DCF has a one-size-fits-all approach to visitation with your children: Everyone gets one or two visits a month - supervised. Small babies may get a little more. At these visits, the DCF agent will be watching you like a cat watching a mouse.
At the visit, you won't be allowed to show too much affection to your child. The DCF feeds your children with all kinds of negative things prior to these visits - even telling them that they will never go back home. If you get too affectionate, they will end the visit. If you tell them secrets like you love them, they will end the visit.
Do everything you can to reassure them that you love them anyway, and that you are fighting for your family. Go up to the edge of where they will not terminate the visit early.
Dirty Trick No. Nineteen
Well Looky Here - Another Abuse Complaint
Another visitation dirty trick is to file a new abuse complaint right before you go to court, or when you are trying to get your visitation increased. That way they can say: "Horrors, no! There have been more disclosures of abuse. We can't agree to more visits. In fact, we want to terminate them."
It doesn't matter that you have not been alone with your kids unsupervised for months. Under continual DCF interrogation, the children have ‘recovered memories' of how you abused them.
Dirty Trick No. Twenty
Although the law requires the DCF to place your children with relatives, if available, they will try to stop it.
Placement With Relatives Means Loss of Control for DCF
If the DCF has stolen your children, the law requires the agency to consider placing them with relatives, if some are available, rather than in a foster home. One of their dirty tricks is to delay and frustrate all of your or your lawyer's efforts to do that.
The reason they do that is that they lose their control over the children. Their own foster parents can be counted on to report any ‘disclosures', and to help with the case to permanently remove you from the picture. Relatives, on the other hand, usually want to help reunite a family, which is what the DCF is charged with doing, but the exact opposite of what they want to do.
Push hard for the placement with relatives, and don't let their excuses deter you. They will usually do anything they can to drag their feet. Just keep pushing.
If all your pushing gets you nowhere, you could be the victim of one of their particularly dirty tricks: They may have secretly promised, or at least encouraged, the foster parents that they could adopt your children after a year. You may find this out from the DCF records you obtain.
This may explain why the DCF will not place your children with relatives despite all your pushing, even when the relatives are clearly an excellent place for them to be. If they promised the foster parents the title to your children, DCF will use every delay tactic possible to not place them with your relatives and avoid obeying the law. Unfortunately, few judges stand up to this.
Dirty Trick No. Twenty-One
The DCF will keep you from any legal challenge to their custody of your children for a year or more.
No Chance to Stop Them for a Year
One of their dirtiest and most hidden tricks, if the DCF has taken your children, is that you will not have a chance to challenge the DCF in court until the very end of the whole process, a year or more later.
This dirty trick involves depriving you of what the law calls "due process". Due process means that you have an opportunity to have your case heard in court in a timely fashion, that you get the legal protections provided by the state and federal constitutions, that you are innocent until proven guilty, that your parental rights are protected from improper state interference, and many other rights. You may have noticed that DCF and the court give you none of these things.
You will be at hearing after hearing, month after month, but the judge will never let you talk to her about any evidence until the trial. You can fight like crazy at all the pre-trial hearings, but it will all do no good. The DCF wants the children for the full lease period of at least a year, and they can hold you off for that amount of time, because the law gives you no due process rights.
Some few children will come home during the one year period, via a negotiated settlement, if the alleged offense by the parents is minor. However, it appears that they have recently increased the percentage of children they keep, and they want to terminate the parental rights of as many as possible.
The Terrible Twins - Isaac and Jeremy
How can they do this? A terrible duo of cases decided by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, called Care and Protection of Isaac, and Care and Protection of Jeremy, have given the DCF virtually unfettered power to do what they want.
A judge can't even stop them from keeping your children while the case is going on, no matter how obvious it is that you are fit parents, and even if you bring in piles of evidence, and prove it so even the O.J. Simpson jury would believe it. You will still not get your ‘day in court' until a year or more has elapsed.
Because you do not get a chance to prove your case for a year, you must do everything possible to keep your children in your possession in the first place. Possession is nine tenths of the law when it comes to the DCF.
Dirty Trick No. Twenty-Two
If the DCF can't get you for abuse or neglect, it will get you for not stopping abuse and neglect by your partner i.e., "Safety issues" or "Putting them at risk".
We Have to Get Them For Something
When the DCF can't accuse a person of abuse or neglect, because the accusation is actually against the other parent, they will still try to drag the non-offending parent into it. They do this by saying the innocent partner didn't stop the other person from committing abuse or neglect. They call this neglect by not keeping the child safe from a perpetrator.
It does not matter if you had no idea it was going on. It does not matter if you would have had to lunge ten feet across a room like Superman to stop your child from being spanked. It does not matter if it is a completely false allegation, and there was not ever any abuse or neglect to stop. You are an ‘enabler', and you must "recognize the other parent as an abusive caretaker". (Parents are never ‘parents' any more; They are ‘caretakers'.)
This is one of those dirty tricks that is very hard to oppose, because it usually addresses a ‘thought crime', rather than actual abuse or neglect. The DCF solution is usually in the form of a ‘Service Plan' which requires the parent to admit committing the thought crime of knowing the other person was an abuser (whether it happened or not) and ‘owning' that new way of thinking.
Never Forgive - Never Get Over It
If only one parent is accused of being abusive or neglectful, the DCF will go into a frenzy over ‘safety issues' or 'putting the children at risk' with the other parent, and end up causing far more problems than they pretend to solve. Rather than try to address the problems, and reconcile the family, they toss a grenade into the already difficult situation, and create distrust and mutual accusations,
They despise forgiveness and "moving on", because then there are fewer victims for them to help. Until their ‘victims' define the whole of their remaining life in terms of their victimization, they are not thinking properly.
Rather than try to modify abusive or neglectful behavior on the part of the innocent parent, the DCF approach addresses how they want you to think about the other person's alleged abuse or neglect. If your partner was not abusive or neglectful, or the issues were minor and long past, you still have to do this. Otherwise, you will likely not get the child back.
Be aware - thinking incorrectly is now abuse or neglect. You must embrace your victimhood.
Dirty Trick No. Twenty-Three
If you do not "suck up" to the social worker, you may not get your children back.
Many social workers think, "How come the parents hate me so?" Your social worker went into social worker school with big hopes and dreams that she was going to "help children" and save the world from evil parents like you. When she joined the "Company", she found out that social work was grinding banality, stupid bosses, nasty parents, rigid rules, too many cases to handle, and low pay. Not exactly what they thought they were signing up for.
Under those conditions, all that idealism stuff turns into cynicism very quickly. It is now keeping endless records, dealing with impossible bureaucratic red tape, surviving trips to the ghetto to homes of drug dealers with 9mm semi-autos in their waist bands. Where was that thing about "helping children"?
The worst thing of all is that every single "consumer" (I still can't believe they call their victim-parents by that name) they deal with despises them. No one told them that this was a totally adversarial job, and that when you kidnap children from parents they don't like you. They are not emotionally or intellectually prepared for their job to be one hateful encounter with parents after another.
Your social worker may require a lot of emotional "stroking." Your social worker should grow into her job after while and realize what it really is:
She kidnaps children from parents, and the parents despise social worker.
But, rather than being a big girl and understanding this very human emotion, they demand that the parents give them kind reactions and work with them like they are the best buddies. What? Don't they realize that when you kidnap someone's children, that most parents are going to hate them with a burning passion?
It doesn't matter. If you don't act like Eddie Haskell, and say, "Good morning, Suzie Social Worker. Isn't it a pleasant day today?", she will extend the kidnapping and hold your child for longer. She will judge your ability as a parent by your politeness toward her, never realizing she just ruined your life, and that it takes every ounce of your strength not to kill her and hide her body under your porch.
It is remarkably immature that she has to "feel the love" from you, when she has done such harm to your children and you. Instead of being exceptionally self-confident and mature, which is what this type of job requires, she demands that her own victims bolster her feeble emotional health.
If you love your children, here is what you do: Accept that, and deal with it. Grit your teeth and suck up. to her. Whenever she comes to your house, pour tea for her, offer a cookie, and be nice. Don't worry about your feelings. Your kids are more important than your feelings, so play act. Speak politely and ask questions like you are genuinely interested in their lives.
Even better, care about the wretched creature. They have lives too, and are probably hurting. Maybe if you show you care, they will show it back.
Why do this? Isn't this outrageous? Yes it is. But this social worker holds your children hostage, and you must do whatever it takes to get them out, even subverting your dignity to this extent. If you love your kids, you will do it, period. Do it for them. Spit out the bad taste later when you have gotten the hostages returned.
Every hostage negotiator understands you have to do whatever it takes to deal with criminals who have no conscience, and that you do and say whatever it takes to get them out. This is exactly what you must learn as well. So, do it for your kids.
It may sound cynical to be so critical of the Department of Children and Families. But I have wept with too many good parents who have lost their children, to not be cynical. Frankly, the system is evil and corrupt. The courts refuse to intervene in the face of DCF power, or they affirm it because they believe in the DCF philosophy.
The exposure of these dirty tricks is only part of the story. You need to know how to fight back. Get a good lawyer. Read the "Fight Back" section of this web site. May God bless your efforts to stop this abuse of children, and reunite your family.