Restraining Order Dirty Tricks
The Court and the False Allegation-Industrial Complex play a lot of dirty tricks against you in restraining order hearings. This section exposes those tricks and traps and shows you how to fight back.
Dirty Trick No. 1
The So-Called "Victim Witness Advocate", usually working out her own tortured past in a life dedicated to revenge against the world that her hurt her, will tell the woman to falsely claim she has been abused or fears abuse.
Every court now has a so-called SAFEPLAN advocate on its staff, also known as a victim advocate, whose job is to assist women to obtain restraining orders. Her salary is paid by tax dollars, often from a "Violence Against Women Act" (VAWA) grant or other federal program.
Sadly, these women - and they are all women - are often maladjusted, and seek the job in order to help women whom they believe to be victims, and they look at most women in that way. Their lives revolve around victimhood, and that is not healthy.
This so-called "advocate" will sit with the woman seeking a restraining order, and help her fill out the application for it, and give her the language that she knows will provoke the judge to issue an order. That is why the same phrases appear so often:
"I just don't know what he may do", or
"I feel that I and my children are at risk", or
"He has guns."
This pathetic figure then accompanies the woman into the courtroom, and stands with her to give her moral support as she lies to the judge about her fear and abuse. Often she will stroke the hand or back of the "victim" or perhaps shed a tear to provoke some needed drama.
Thankfully, she is not allowed to speak, but her presence is itself a terrible signal that due process has been abandoned, because only one side gets a free legal helper, and the other does not.
Dirty Trick No. 2
The entire system - the court, the cops, the clerks - all try to hide the most important piece of information from you, the defendant - the application and affidavit that the woman fills out which shows the factual and legal basis for why she wants the order.
What is an affidavit? (pronounced: Aff-I-DAVE-it) Only the most important piece of paper in a restraining order hearing, and everyone in the system wants to keep you from seeing it until the hearing, when it is too late. An affidavit is a written statement, made under the penalties of perjury, in which she writes the facts that she claims entitles her to an order. She MUST fill one out, explaining in detail what abuse or fear of abuse you have perpetrated upon her.
Here is the rub - they don't get served with the order, and no one even tells you they exist. And, unless you: 1) Know about the document; and 2) go to court and get it, you will not see the thing until you are standing in front of the judge.
I cannot stress the importance of getting this affidavit BEFORE the hearing enough. In it, you will find her allegations - what she is accusing you of. Unless you get it in advance, you cannot know what witnesses or documents to bring in to prove your case against any false allegations in the affidavit.
Be warned: When you go to the court to get the affidavit, they will give you more grief than you can imagine, even though this is your own case where you are a party! It would be unfair for you to have the information about her allegations, now wouldn't it??!! You might stop the plaintiff from lying, and we cannot have that.
You may have to beg, plead and argue with the clerk to get the thing. Be persistent. Some courts even make you fill out a motion form and go in front of the judge. If they do, go to the trouble. Almost anything is worth it to get this document.
Once you get the affidavit, then you can put together a defense, such as get witnesses who can testify that you didn't do what she said you did, get phone records to show that you didn't make a call to threaten her, or get receipts to show you weren't where she said you were, etc.
Dirty Trick No. 3
The burden of proof in a restraining order hearing is supposed to be that the plaintiff has to prove her case by a preponderance of the evidence, or 51%. The real burden is on you to disprove it, because If she says you abused her, it is "true".
In no other kind of court hearing - except restraining orders - do we assume that a statement made by a complaining party is true, without proof. In restraining order hearings, that is how it works. The standard seems to be - If she says it, it's true. If you say it, it is not. In the battle of "he said, she said", she wins just about every time.
So what do you do? You need to get outside proof that she has not told the truth - a person who saw the encounter she says was abusive, phone records to show you did not make the call, or something else concrete and objective.
Dirty Trick No. 1
The So-Called "Victim Witness Advocate", usually working out her own tortured past in a life dedicated to revenge against the world that her hurt her, will tell the woman to falsely claim she has been abused or fears abuse.
Every court now has a so-called SAFEPLAN advocate on its staff, also known as a victim advocate, whose job is to assist women to obtain restraining orders. Her salary is paid by tax dollars, often from a "Violence Against Women Act" (VAWA) grant or other federal program.
Sadly, these women - and they are all women - are often maladjusted, and seek the job in order to help women whom they believe to be victims, and they look at most women in that way. Their lives revolve around victimhood, and that is not healthy.
This so-called "advocate" will sit with the woman seeking a restraining order, and help her fill out the application for it, and give her the language that she knows will provoke the judge to issue an order. That is why the same phrases appear so often:
"I just don't know what he may do", or
"I feel that I and my children are at risk", or
"He has guns."
This pathetic figure then accompanies the woman into the courtroom, and stands with her to give her moral support as she lies to the judge about her fear and abuse. Often she will stroke the hand or back of the "victim" or perhaps shed a tear to provoke some needed drama.
Thankfully, she is not allowed to speak, but her presence is itself a terrible signal that due process has been abandoned, because only one side gets a free legal helper, and the other does not.
Dirty Trick No. 2
The entire system - the court, the cops, the clerks - all try to hide the most important piece of information from you, the defendant - the application and affidavit that the woman fills out which shows the factual and legal basis for why she wants the order.
What is an affidavit? (pronounced: Aff-I-DAVE-it) Only the most important piece of paper in a restraining order hearing, and everyone in the system wants to keep you from seeing it until the hearing, when it is too late. An affidavit is a written statement, made under the penalties of perjury, in which she writes the facts that she claims entitles her to an order. She MUST fill one out, explaining in detail what abuse or fear of abuse you have perpetrated upon her.
Here is the rub - they don't get served with the order, and no one even tells you they exist. And, unless you: 1) Know about the document; and 2) go to court and get it, you will not see the thing until you are standing in front of the judge.
I cannot stress the importance of getting this affidavit BEFORE the hearing enough. In it, you will find her allegations - what she is accusing you of. Unless you get it in advance, you cannot know what witnesses or documents to bring in to prove your case against any false allegations in the affidavit.
Be warned: When you go to the court to get the affidavit, they will give you more grief than you can imagine, even though this is your own case where you are a party! It would be unfair for you to have the information about her allegations, now wouldn't it??!! You might stop the plaintiff from lying, and we cannot have that.
You may have to beg, plead and argue with the clerk to get the thing. Be persistent. Some courts even make you fill out a motion form and go in front of the judge. If they do, go to the trouble. Almost anything is worth it to get this document.
Once you get the affidavit, then you can put together a defense, such as get witnesses who can testify that you didn't do what she said you did, get phone records to show that you didn't make a call to threaten her, or get receipts to show you weren't where she said you were, etc.
Dirty Trick No. 3
The burden of proof in a restraining order hearing is supposed to be that the plaintiff has to prove her case by a preponderance of the evidence, or 51%. The real burden is on you to disprove it, because If she says you abused her, it is "true".
In no other kind of court hearing - except restraining orders - do we assume that a statement made by a complaining party is true, without proof. In restraining order hearings, that is how it works. The standard seems to be - If she says it, it's true. If you say it, it is not. In the battle of "he said, she said", she wins just about every time.
So what do you do? You need to get outside proof that she has not told the truth - a person who saw the encounter she says was abusive, phone records to show you did not make the call, or something else concrete and objective.